Everything But My Faith
by Crybaby
Summary: A maryter story about a girl who goes on a missionary trip...it's sad...R/R please!!!!


**Everything But My Faith**

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December 22, 2001 

Dear Diary, 

I can't wait. Our Youth Group is going to China. We're going to build little churches, and help the people find their faith. I'm so lucky to have this experience at the age of 11. We're gonna be gone for Christmas, but that's ok, on Christmas morning we'll be preaching in those little churches we built from logs and tree branches. Too bad my family cant come, but I think it's better that way. I can freely express my faith and KNOW my parents are proud of me, instead of them being able to tell me. God be with us…

December 23, 2001 (on the plane)

Oh my gosh oh my gosh! We're gonna be there in like, 2 minuets! I can't wait! Ms. Beth just told us that we're not going to be able to build the little churches, because they're already up from the last missionary group that was there. It's about 2:30 in the morning, and I'm wide-awake. I can't believe it. We're THERE!

December 23, 2001 (noon)

Dear Diary, the morning service was great! All the people who looked so sad and helpless, went away looking happy and brave…We even had about 7 people come up to the little alter and get saved right in front of the church. We gave all the congregation of about 23 some Bibles…the littlest kids were so happy…But I think I was even more happy than them…

December 24, 2001 

Diary, things weren't as great today. A man stood up and said, "There is no God, we follow the communist way of life, not the Hebrew way" and then called the police. Aren't we allowed to preach? In China you're allowed to preach to people right? We learned in Social Studies that they allow it…so why did he call the police?

December 25, 2001 (Christmas Day)

Now I know why, Diary. It's not like I thought…not what I thought at all. Turns out China's not as nice about religion as they seem. Remember how I said Christmas Day I'd be preaching in the little church? Well, that's how it started. But now, it's 1:30 and I'm sitting here in a jail cell. I've got a black eye, a broken arm, and a mouth full of blood. Why? I can barley write…I am in so much pain…the guards, every half hour will come and beat us. Jennifer and Amanda are already dead. Who's next? Me? Oh gosh, I just want my mom? Where's my mom? 

December 26, 2001 

I can't go on. They've stripped me of my clothes, taken everything I own out of my suitcase, and even this diary I have to keep secret. They tore up all my Bibles right in front of my face, and then burned them with me watching. I am in excruciating pain right now, but that was the most painful thing that's ever happened to me…to see a Holy Bible burned right there…Lord please save me…They have taken all I have, all I love, ripped up pictures of my family with my Bibles, and told me to take a good look at them before they ripped them, because it was the last time I'd ever see them. They have taken everything from me…but they have not taken my faith in Jesus. Oh no, here comes that guard who ripped up my pictures…If he sees me writing…he'll kill me…oh no…he sees me…

"Do you love God _now_, after what he has done to you?" the man asks me, grabbing my neck.

"Sir, you can take anything from me, but I will never loose my faith"

Not surprisingly he takes out a gun. He's pointing it right at my head. Silently, I say, "I love you Jesus", and then all is black.

_How could I not confess your love?_

_How could I not scream your name?_

_You've loved me so much,_

_I'm just not the same_

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_Every step I'm closer to you_

_Every breath I'm closer, to being at your side_

_Every move I'm making could be my last,_

_But I'm not worried, and I won't hide,_

_I won't hide from my faith_

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_I'm so foolish, to want to be here_

_Instead of up with you_

_I'm so scared, so scared to die,_

_But if asked my faith,_

_I will not lie_

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_Every step I'm closer to you_

_Every breath I'm closer, to being at your side_

_Every move I'm making could be my last,_

_But I'm not worried, and I won't hide,_

_I won't hide from my faith_

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A/N: I dedicate this fic to all the martyrs that have come, that are, and that will be. I will die for Christ someday.

Disclaimer: I own everything. The plot, the diary, the song…Please if you want to use the song, ask.

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